KaroJisatsu 과로사 is the Japanese term for suicide from over work

Burnout to me used to mean I was spending too many nights up late chatting to friends in all reaches of the globe but the last few months has given me fresh insight into the true depths of this issue.

Currently if I get to do less than 50hours in the office I have reason to celebrate. I have to submit my paysheet on a Wednesday night forecasting the rest of the week if I want to be paid on that weekend and I always manage to underestimate the workload as it is constantly increasing. Thankfully I can adjust the next week each time to backpay the extra hours but really, 14hour days in the office, under a bucket load of stress, it's a recipe for breakdown.

The previous manager in my position went on stress leave and then never came back, which is how I was placed there. I thought I would only have the position very short term as a stop gap and months later I'm still in there and with a new team mate, we are making the job evolve daily, increasing efficiency and coping through daily client emergencies and somehow winning kudos from all stakeholders.

Problem is, I'm hardly ever home, when I am too haggard to get anything done, I wonder if my wife recognises me some days, and because the work is so full on, and the days so long, when I do get home I don't even start to wind down until about 1am or 2am only to have to get up and get back into it 6am later that morning.

I can't tell you how much I miss photography. My camera died a couple of months back. After 62000 shutter actuations, the shutter plane buckled and took a dive into the sensor. One D70 became an expensive paperweight.

So I am saving for the Nikon D300 and looking at using my new skills from this crazy job to get serious about putting together an agency with the most talented photographers and graphic artists I know locally.

I'll post more news about that and about the upcoming recruitment for the Abbey Medieval Festival photographic team in my next journal. The Abbey is currently enjoying the task of choosing images from the 37000 photos I dropped off to them a few weeks back.